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Dancing with Nature to Co-create

Fitness & Well-Being March 29, 2017

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How do you measure and define success? A Unique Perspective

Personal Development March 7, 2017

How do you measure and define success?

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, and on and on and on, I call out to Jesus, the only name I could think of who, perhaps, could help my troubled mind and tormented soul. The year is 2,000; I am homeless on Kaua’i, my aging mother is in a local care home, and I am her official guardian. I am crazy. . .  fractured and psychically disjointed, I am plagued incessantly by dark thoughts of self-hatred and suicide.

At night, I try to find a place to park my run down VW hatchback where the police won’t find me. My six foot body is unable to stretch out in the diminutive space of the hatchback; it is warm and humid. I open the windows to get some air and a fleet of mosquitoes rush in to feast upon my crumpled body . . . .the mosquitos buzz around my ears like tiny banshees, chattering incessantly. I try to chase them away, but to no avail; I am scratching everywhere. God, how did I end up here?  Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, and on I go with my mantra. It helps a little; so, I persist in my Jesus incantation. There is nothing else to do. I have no friends, no community. I am alone and feeling bereft. I am by the ocean; all I need do is walk into the water, and keep walking, and then as the water gets deeper, I could swim out to sea and drown. No one will find me. No one will care. I am overwhelmed by the seemingly endless darkness of my inner being.

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Somewhere, in the vastness of the my clouded mind, I see a tiny speck of light, a star, perhaps? even the tiniest bit of light offers some small comfort in this otherwise bleak inner sea of darkness that has overwhelmed me.  I am 57 years old. There is no hope. My life is over.

Whew!

The year is now 2017. I AM here, and now. 14 years has passed since I had fallen into that deep dark crevasse, from which there appeared to be no escape. Yet,  the Light of Love can reach anywhere, and in my hour of need, the Light came to me and helped me to rise up just enough to get my footing again. I did not know it at the time, but success was waiting for me to come to it.

There are many ways to define success; perhaps the most common definition describes some achievement, or award, fame, or riches. For me, success means, simply, to emerge from my suffering and to know peace.

One might wonder how the above picture of my life has anything to do with success, for it is a picture of a fallen soul, with virtually no hope for ever living a life of peace and happiness. Yet success implies a state of non-success and state from which one has come and measured against a present completion or fulfillment such as the classic success story of the “rags to riches” scenario.

My life reads more like a movement from the depths of despair to a place of well being and engagement with all of existence. I am happy and have realized a measure of success that exceeds anything that I had dreamed.

Success is a journey that comprises a completion of a goal along with all the elements leading to a higher place . . . it is everything, the bad, the good, and the ugly. To be alive is to be successful,

The late Maya Angelou said that “Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” Basically, one’s level of success is directly proportionate to the level of love that can be experience within oneself.  There is no such thing as a genuinely loving person who does not experience an inner love of his/her own existence.

When one reaches the latter stages of life, success can be measured more from the domain of an inner realization; are you happy with your life; did/ does your life have meaning; has it been well lived? I am pleased to answer this question in the affirmative.

I am happy today; I live in a loving and supportive community on Kaua’i. I enjoy my “work.” At 69 years of age, an age where most people are looking towards the rest of their years as a decline into a kind of doddering feebleness, I look upward to a new vision of possibility. I see only Light ahead of me; I envision my life as a movement into the fathomless wonders of an existence I never knew existed, an existence that beckons me onward to walk its light-filled path. More and more I experience the only Reality there is: Love. Love is forever the Light that guides my way into Forever.

Life is a divine and awesome mystery that I live in gratitude and wonder.

Indeed, when I lay, hopeless, and mosquito bitten in the back of the VW hatchback, I could barely imagine the life I am living now; here I am, engaged more fully with Life than I ever before. And now, I begin to dream, to envision a life filled with Love, engaged with others who share a similar intent. This is success: to consciously live life in Love and to share Love with others.

A panorama of possibility reveals itself as I release whatever debris may be left over from the experiences of the past. I Am that I Am; I am happy and I am in process of accessing greater and greater success (well-being) in my life. There are no limits.

 

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Happy Awesome and Emerging New Year!

Creative Writing - Talk Story January 2, 2017

Aloha and Much Love to Everyone, to those who are reading this and those who are not. Happy Awesome and Emerging New Year!

I hardly know where to begin; this has been such an intense year, right up to the very end . . . up to this moment; so many equisite highs and (dare I say?) exquisite lows . . . a number of friends leaving their bodies, and a number of others facing some real “in the face” health challenges . . . you know, the kind where you feel locked in a body that may not be able to engage in existence anymore . . . where it is time to face your fears, confront what is calling to be faced, to forgive, let go of anger, and open up to Love, particularly for your own Being . . . in other words, LOVE YOURSELF, as never before.

2017 is coming in like a tsunami, ushering in a Brave New World, with powerful forces erupting out of the field of life reality, a reality that becomes less and less familiar to us . . . what used to be “Up” is now “down”, and the downs are now up, left is right and right is left. Everything appears to be the opposite of what it was.

Reality as we know it looks more and more like Salavador Dali’s painting of Time.

Yet, the son/sun shines on, and shines and shines, like a silent, but oddly loving Light, that continues to support the life as we know it, along with the stories we create. Yes, the Bright, stays Bright, neutral, nonjudgmental, and yet continuing to illumine the many paths that we all tread. I love the Light; I keep my vision on the Light all ways, except the times when I forget, getting embroiled in the bizarre stories that cloud one’s vision, wiggling around like worms that have been unearthed. As Leonard Cohen (who recently passed) says, “there is a crack in everything; that’s how the Light gets in.”

We will experience a lot of cracks in 2017, but always remember, the crack is where the Light gets in. 2017, for me, is the year of the Great Light. As the foundations of the civilization we have known for so long begin to crumble, and even ignite, there is something, the “Light”, that shines brilliantly behind all of it.

Life remains a mystery to me, and so I pray, forgive, love, and continue to turn towards the Light, weaving my own story of light, interweaving with other brave and powerful souls who are waking up in the midst of it all, sharing their gifts, and finding new and wondrous ways to share the love that they/we are.

And, so, I wish you all the most extraordinary year; a year of Awakening, of Loving, of Allowing and reaching states of Being heretofore unexplored. This can be scary, exhilarating, despairing at times, but the LIGHT IS, Always . . . the Light is . . . unrelenting, forever . . .embracing . . .Loving . . . cajoling, and sharing a Wisdom, that, somehow, makes sense of it all.

We all have access to the “Inner Mother Mary” the Inner Light, that implores us to listen, speaking and whispering words of wisdom, letting us know that there will be an answer . . . Let it Be.
Thank you, Paul McCartney

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Sacred Quest

Creative Writing - Talk Story December 9, 2016

Sacred Quest
 
The sheer magnitude of this Journey often Escapes us. Treasured moments easily go Un-noticed as our Attention veers Elsewhere. It’s a Great Enigma that many of us, for one reason or another, forsake the Essence of this precious Journey. In this tragic tendency we walk through life Impoverished, dishonoring our Spirit and the incredible Existence we are Given. The elegant Truth is this earthly Journey is truly Sublime, and Life will break us Open and coerce us in scrupulous ways for the sole Purpose of our Awakening. The Divine Spark that Breath us to Life will stir within and move us to Un-Veil the larger Purpose and Significance of our Existence.

As Children, we reach the shore of Life connected to Source. The expansiveness of our Existence flows through our tiny Being of Heart and we experience Everything deeply as our sense of I and Another isn’t quite formed. The Inner-connectedness to All of Life is palpable, we are wide open loving curious and at awe – The World is our Playground. Along this Voyage, we undergo a journey of Dis-connection from Source and our True Essence. A sense of Alienation begins to pervade our Existence and to a great extent, we grow far from our Heart and begin to neglect the Spiritual dimension of our Being.

Mankind has been walking here, largely unconscious, for a time; imprisoned by the trivial whilst negating our Glorious Existence. Our Story here is far larger and more Magnificent than we tend to believe. The Truth we embody will present itself as a relentless Inner Impulse which demands possibly the greatest decision each will make: undertaking our most Sacred Journey – the Journey WithIn.

The collective human community has been in a Disoriented state as past conditioning propelled us to seek external pursuits and much distractions. We have been, to a great degree, shaping the world we live in whilst Abandoning our greatest Centre of Power. Our luminous Radiance and Creative capacity have been neglected as a result of our Spiritual Estrangement. We forgot our Role and Potency in the Cosmic Dance and Universal Arena. Alas, our earthly existence will present us with situations and conditions which will demand our Honest appraisal and will ultimately provide an Impetus for our Expansion.

Many of us reach a point where we can no longer be absent to Life and ignore the Inner Impulse to Re-Unit with our Soul. As we find ourselves in this threshold, we begin to question the concepts guidelines and meta-narrative we have been exposed to and embraced to a great extent, and we begin our Inner explorations. Here the landscape is expansive, and Our Inner Compass keeps us forging ahead while Our Moral Courage inspires us. We question much of what we lived by, and though some may resist what emerges out of fear and desire to keep the status quo and live as expected, most will be drawn to keep excavating what begs to be Re-membered and Honored.

This Inner Journey can be overwhelming, many feel lonely and at times destabilized. Nevertheless, the Interior Quest provides us our most Potent and Fundamental Transformation. We Recognize and Accept that a large part of this Earthly Existence is to Awaken us to our Magnificence. In our search, we glean deeper insights into Unconscious Tendencies and eventually reach a space of Clarity that permeates our Being. Our Hearts widen and a profound sense of Compassion imbues our Life. As we Awaken from our long slumber Humility begins to pervade our Existence and we see with great Transparency the Collective Compass and Purpose. A nourishing Coherence suffuses our Life and our Creative Force begins to Flow.

As we deepen our Sacred Quest we recognize we carry a Seed of Life that is part of Source and All of Creation. We Re-member we have come here as an Expression of the Divine and we are a part of a Grander Story that Considers and Embraces All of Life. We realize there is an encompassing Pattern of Meaning to our Existence and that our Emancipation and Creative Force is in Surrendering and Aligning with the Divine Plan. As we travel WithIn, we Re-member our Essence and begin to Live in Alignment with our Soul Guidance and Heart Wisdom. We realize we are the Shape-Shifters of our Existence and we than Create from that Powerful space and allow the Divine Spark to flow through us as we embrace the Co-creative Dance with The Universe. No longer shaping our Life from a sense of alienation, a fear, social and / or cultural pressure, sense of lack or competition. We Re-Claim Sovereignty over our precious Existence and Honor the Glorious Spirit that Breathed us to Life.

May you Honor the Brilliant Powerful Spirit that is You.

~ Dafna Ohana ~

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Handwriting Renaissance

Personal Development December 20, 2014

Handwriting Renaissance

 

Mind Evolution

Even though handwriting is being minimized during this era of questionable focus on electronic forms of communication, cursive writing will again rise to its key position in the future academic world. This time, however, handwriting and the alphabet letters will be recognized as an alchemical science and as a curriculum for attaining spiritual sovereignty.

 

The Spiritual Blueprint

The thought of you existed in the mind of the Creator beyond time. In your creation, a revelation and expression of the Divine Mind, there is a unique design that is distinctively you.

Your incarnation on the earth is for you to responsibly activate, mature, and express the unique divine qualities, talents, and spirit of the Creator that you are.

What you are doing to know yourself, how you are wisely and intelligently progressing your mind, your heart, and spirit is pictured for you in your handwriting. The writing movements and shaping of the alphabet letters tell your story. You can change the story, if you like, through the alchemical science of cursive writing.

 

Handwriting Movement

Take a moment and in cursive write the word “Light’. In the creation of that empowering word, you involved multiple areas of your mind. In forming the letter ‘L’ , you reached into the upper area of your brain/mind. To what realm of your mind that you connected with depended upon your degree of neurological and mental development. The exalted meaning of the letter ‘L’ is, “what I am in Spirit, I express in the world.”

In creating the small letter ‘i’, you involved another part of your brain/mind, an area that relates to practical expression of memory, observation, and accuracy.

The letter ‘g’ tells you to change all challenging patterns into those that result in desirable experiences. In designing the letter ‘g’, you activate another area of your brain/mind, one that is involved in your power to change and manifest what you desire.

Cursive writing is a unifying movement of your consciousness. In writing the letter ‘h’ you move from the practical and experiential area of your brain/mind up to the realm of ideals and dreams. Again, to what realm you take yourself is depended upon your attitudes and meaning you hold for your life.

When you are sincere in your desires, you will take the initiative to have your dream(s) be a reality. The quality of initiative, also a part of the letter ‘h’, relates to the expressive area of your brain/mind.

The word ‘Light’ finishes with the letter ‘t’. How appropriate!

This power letter registers your degree of will, confidence, enthusiasm, and motivation. In creating a balanced, supportive letter ‘t’, you integrate left/right activities of your mind to accomplish that which you are holding as your intention.

In all the movements you made in consciously creating the word ‘Light’, you simultaneously influenced your soul light, your spiritual aura, and your physiological well-being. Cursive writing with a meditative aware presence is an enlightening and alchemical movement of attaining spiritual sovereignty.


The Letter Archetypes

The letter archetypes arc the original models of divine qualities, powers, wisdom, and knowledge. Each letter archetype is an intelligent aspect of the Spirit of Love willing to assist you in fully awakening your mind capacity. These archetypes likewise influence your physiological systems, cells, and atoms to awaken and evolve according to their impressed potential of consciousness.

The English alphabet is the channel through which the letter archetypes connect with you. When you value who your are and attentively design the alphabet letters, you create a resonance with the alphabet archetypes. Through their cosmic power transformations happen in mental awareness, emotional expression, and neurological connections.

Each alphabet letter is like a vessel of gold offering you the wisdom and knowledge that encourages you to be the royal king-queen of your consciousness, a manifestation of spiritual sovereignty.

Contact Angeline at:

808-826-0234
angeline@shaka.com

 

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Handwriting Your Consciousness in Form

Personal Development December 20, 2014

Handwriting

Your Consciousness in Form
In an Interview with Angeline Welk

In a recent interview with Angeline Welk, graphologist, she underscores a favorite statement by Ralph Waldo Emerson…”beauty is God’s handwriting.”

In reflecting on creation, we actually experience, contemplate. the signature of the Divine. We see many contrasts of the straight and the rounded line. Similarly, our handwriting, the signature of the evolving self is composed of various arrangements of the straight and rounded line.

Handwriting, Angeline continues is truly one’s “psychic pulse.” She refers to George Leonard in his book, Silent Pulse, who says that he believes that each individual is a hologram of the entire universe…that the essence and uniqueness of the whole person is expressed in certain parts—finger and voice prints, patterns of respiration, inner rhythm pulses and handwriting.

One’s handwriting, then, as a graphic expression of the self, is actually a movement of the soul. The expression reveals, in its soft and round movements, the degree of adaptation of its writer; in its richness of forms, his imagination; in its rhythm, his relation to the creative unconscious…literally a movement of inner dynamics into form!

The study of handwriting reveals the motivations and conflicts of its writer. Through a writing sample we see how the writer is oriented to his world, how he is adjusted physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, the writing being a graphic chart of his thoughts and emotions.

As the mind and body function as an integrated unit, health exists when they are in harmony; illness and despair result when stress and conflict interrupt this process. This will be shown in one’s handwriting by its rhythm, flow, pressure, and balance.

Angeline relates that the approach she likes to use when working with clients is to identify the assests and liabilities. At this point, she stresses how they can influence any aspect in the direction they choose. Our past, or foundation years, also leave their imprint, and Angeline feels her work is to lead her clients to realize their innate potential. This is achieved by her work in script therapy.

In an interview with Marlene Myhre, Sedona, AZ.

You may contact Angeline Welk at (808) 808-826-0234 or
Alefangel@gmail.com . For more knowledge on handwriting,

Visit her website, www.ourlivingalphabet.com

 

 

 

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Transformation of the Muse’s Handwriting

Personal Development December 20, 2014

Transformation of the Muse’s Handwriting

(see below for the BEFORE and AFTER)

I decided to take the handwriting course because I felt that by changing the way I wrote, I could achieve a more integrated and in-depth relationship with my inner being.

The changes that happened to me so far are:

A true appreciation of the power and beauty of the alphabet letters; a more balanced and consistent state of being; and an enhanced sense of self-esteem.

I am truly grateful to have taken this course from Angeline and know that I have received a gift that continues to be a blessing in my life.

Angeline’s Response

Richard was very committed to improving his handwriting and his life. Note the care with which he is now creating his letters. See the rhythmic consistency of this writing of June 14 compared to January 30, 2012. Also, note how Richard’s initial “I” form is incomplete, stopping the flow of masculine power and confidence. This has greatly changed now, with Richard moving forward with a new sense of self. Opening and completing letters such as “h”, “l”, “g”, and “y’s” all have added to his realization of a bigger picture of himself.

BEFORE

 

AFTER

Contact Angeline at:

Angeline Welk
Alefangel@gmail.com
ourlivingalphabet.com

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`ali `ali: a post in progress

Personal Development September 22, 2011

Aliali
It took me about twenty minutes to find the word above. It wasn’t until I went back to where I started, a text from a friend containing a link for a reliable Hawaiian dictionary to find it. The word means clarity.

In reading a legend about the Mo’o, the lizard, the writer emphasizes the metaphorical need for every human to be grounded, belly to the Earth, front claws open to search and inquire, back claws in solid foundation to support growth, and then there is the tail. The tail that encompasses our growth in the sturdiness of our past. A-ha: The past.

Growth and Expansion

In growth and expansion, it is sometimes easy to shoot to the sky and forget your roots. I haven’t forgotten my roots, in fact the collusion of my past and my present often nips at the side of my mind. How do I carry forward the bounties or beings that brought me to this moment, while honoring the individual sovereignty, the perfection of each path’s evolution: each path ends at the same destination, you know.
The answer is I don’t think you can, not in the way I thought, for you cannot carry anyone, you simply carry on. And then a funny thing may happen, a vista, and you look to your right and there is a beloved and you both say, “How did you know I would be here?”

Clarity of the Heart

That is the clarity of the heart, the pu’u beats the path, and from above there is only one, from below there are universes.Even though the dictionary says it is a noun, I think it is more about the verbness of clarity, becoming clear, then clearing, humbling and breathing to cultivate and tend to the state of clarity. Just like I needed to read from the Hawaiian language, aliali or `ali`ali, “whiteness” or “clearness” to understand the synapses in my own brain, and yet in the difference the clarity of the sameness.

Claw for what is in front of you, and when you see it, rest your belly on the land beneath you in gratitude for the moment expressed. Swish your tail to remember that what lies behind you gives you the balance of what lies ahead, and if you trust the beat of your own path, all will be clear.

Kate Brenton

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Who is Kirk VandenBerghe?

Personal Development June 24, 2010

That is a question that many of you could be asking; without my brilliant techie friend, Kirk VandenBerghe, along with his partner and soul mate, Sandy Breckenridge, the “HeartBeat of Kaua’i” would still be a wistful thought fleeting through the mind of “the muse.”

The Kaua’i MuseLetter, which began as a small writing project around 2001, and which gradually blossomed into a full-on email networking publication with over 2,000 participants by 2010, has finally transformed into the next generation of the community network.

First Vision

I first envisioned a website for “The Kaua’i MuseLetter” a few years ago, but it would be a long time before the dream of an online presence would materialize into reality. I wondered whether the MuseLetter would ever fulfill its potential of a higher level of contribution to the community that it served. Although I enjoyed producing the MuseLetter, it was an increasing challenge to keep up the pace and attention necessary to produce a quality and productive publication.

A Miraculous Event

Yet miraculous events often occur during the times when you least expect them. Around five weeks ago, I was visiting with my good friends, Kirk and Sandy. I had always had a fantasy that Kirk would be the one to build my website, and we even talked about it at some point a year ago. But the conversation waned and the possibility receded into the quantum field of possibility from which it came. Besides, I thought, Kirk is just too busy.

Kirk is one of the most focused and productive people I know; he is a master website developer and, along with Sandy, his partner, has created a highly successful online business.

The Brief Window of Time

Perhaps it was an opening in the quantum matrix, or an angel whispering in Kirk’s ear… whatever it was, Kirk said to me, “Look, Richard, I think I know how we can create your website. We can use the ‘ClassiPress‘ add-on to WordPress, which will also provide you with a blog. That way, people will be able to easily list their needs on your site and you will have a blog for your own writing projects. You can even offer guest blogging opportunities to specific people in the community. I have a small window of time right now before I leave for the mainland for a few months and get swept away in other projects, so you need to let me know immediately if you would like me to put up your site.”

Surprised by Joy!

Kirk’s offer took me totally by surprise; for a moment I did not comprehend the depth and generosity of his offer. “Did he just offer to build my site for me? Kirk . . . build my site?” Since I thought I might be dreaming, I decided to say, “Yes, of course,” just to see what would happen. “Could Kirk be serious?” I thought to myself. Well, Kirk was serious and he replied, “Great, let’s get started!”

The next day, Kirk was up and running, moving swiftly into the “HeartBeat” project with the same focus and attention that had become the hallmark of Kirk’s work ethic over the years; Kirk had participated in countless similar projects before that would eventually become online success stories. (Kirk was not going to make money on this project. “We will work out something, Richard.”) And so we were off!

Traveling at Warp

For the next three weeks, like the Star Trek Enterprise traveling at warp, Kirk dove into the architecture of the ClassiPress universe, mastering the intimacies of the system with the same zeal that enabled him to figure out countless systems before. As he worked, Kirk gave me various writing and processing assignments that enabled him to function as swiftly and smoothly as possible. I could barely keep up with his pace and was full of questions that Kirk answered patiently, yet, perhaps with a bit of testiness after I would ask him the same thing several times over. Kirk was at warp, and I could barely do better than impulse.

Going Live!

But, I kept up well enough and in three weeks the finished product was ready for launch. Kirk was not about to waste any time… “OK, let’s do it. Let’s take the site Live . . . . NOW!” (Procrastination is not one of Kirk’s attributes.)

And so, we did; in one of my final communications with the “old” Kaua’i MuseLetter, I informed the community of “an immediate shift in the form of the MuseLetter from a strictly email-based system to a more sophisticated Presence that would be able to handle the information flow more effectively.”

The website went “Live”; astonishingly, over 200 people logged on to “HeartBeat, in the first 48 hours of its appearance; with the brightness of a nascent nova, “HeartBeat” was borne into existence. After a long and somewhat laborious pregnancy, “HeartBeat” emerged, healthy, happy, dynamic and fully alive.

Now, a couple of weeks later, “HeartBeat” continues to perform smoothly and efficiently, with little interruption and no “bugs.” I can already feel “HeartBeat” expanding into new and exciting possibilities of service. I think I may finally take a little vacation to one of the most beautiful, awesome spots on the planet… Kaua’i. With great gratitude, thank you, Kirk, and thank you, Sandy.

Aloha and Namaste

“the muse”

183 total views, 1 today

  • Life on Kaua’i: Wild Pigs in Paradise By Gabriela Taylor

    by on December 20, 2014 - 0 Comments

    author of “Geckos & Other Guests: Tales of a Kaua‘i Bed & Breakfast” Snorting grunt sounds wake me up in the middle of the night. Baffled at first, I finally emerge from a fog and think that pigs must be poking around somewhere on my property. When the grunts intensify, however, I become alarmed and […]

  • Handwriting Your Consciousness in Form

    by on December 20, 2014 - 0 Comments

    Handwriting Your Consciousness in Form In an Interview with Angeline Welk In a recent interview with Angeline Welk, graphologist, she underscores a favorite statement by Ralph Waldo Emerson…”beauty is God’s handwriting.” In reflecting on creation, we actually experience, contemplate. the signature of the Divine. We see many contrasts of the straight and the rounded line. […]

  • Handwriting Renaissance

    by on December 20, 2014 - 0 Comments

    Handwriting Renaissance   Mind Evolution Even though handwriting is being minimized during this era of questionable focus on electronic forms of communication, cursive writing will again rise to its key position in the future academic world. This time, however, handwriting and the alphabet letters will be recognized as an alchemical science and as a curriculum […]

  • Transformation of the Muse's Handwriting

    by on December 20, 2014 - 0 Comments

    Transformation of the Muse’s Handwriting (see below for the BEFORE and AFTER) I decided to take the handwriting course because I felt that by changing the way I wrote, I could achieve a more integrated and in-depth relationship with my inner being. The changes that happened to me so far are: A true appreciation of […]

  • Happy Awesome and Emerging New Year!

    by on January 2, 2017 - 0 Comments

    Aloha and Much Love to Everyone, to those who are reading this and those who are not. Happy Awesome and Emerging New Year! I hardly know where to begin; this has been such an intense year, right up to the very end . . . up to this moment; so many equisite highs and (dare […]

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