- Listed: February 25, 2017 4:17 pm
- Expires: 17 hours, 49 mins
Over the last 20 years that I’ve spent in close touch with my mother, Angeline… all the wonderful experiences I was fortunate to witness, and the countless beautiful people that knew and loved her, and that because of her, I’ve come to know… I knew that one day I would be presenting a reflection and summing up of her life, and it would be something big. Really big…
…but I was wrong.
Because most of you already know how special she was…So all I need do, or even can do, is share my perspective.
In spring on 1992, just months before Iniki, I visited from San Francisco. The second big cedarwood octagon steam room had just been constructed. She had built this unbelievable oasis- her lomi center and living space. She called it “the house that lomi built” and it was sitting on 8 acres of precious Kauai land. It was clear to me that she was in her element, master of her vocation, and manifesting abundance… In a big way.
She also felt strongly that having her children on the land with her was integral to the fruition of her dreams, and that was real too. I almost couldn’t believe it.
I must confess, that only now that she is gone, and as I reflect on her life, I realize something special, an aspect of her as a person, which I never took notice of.
* Over the years as I grew up I often thought of mom as naïve… She wasn’t worldly wise, travelled, or college educated…
And as a single mother raising 4 kids, neither was she equipped to fix our used car… or the worn out washing machine… harrumph! I never complained; we certainly got by, and all because of her efforts, and with a little help from her friends… and to her credit I never saw a food stamp or welfare check. I couldn’t figure out why she never lectured us, or directed her children’s focus towards like preparing for the future, never told us what life was all about; like we might expect from an elder… even now, long a grandmother.
I often thought and wondered; how did this to me, naive person, who I loved… Btw, possibly because she was the baby of the 3 sisters, her parents divorced when she was very young, she was called Peewee, kind of spoiled… in fact her kupuna would jokingly, maybe even sarcastically, say… “she’s going to live off of love ” — which was actually prophetic)…Naïve? Perhaps, but she always had deep unconditional love for her children … I soaked it in as a child. She always had that twinkle in her eye as she said I could do or be whoever or whatever I wanted to be.
How did she develop this Mana, this wisdom- this power to create and manifest such abundance? All these friends; old friends, new friends, people she never knew, from here, from all over the planet, healthy and handicapped, young and old, clamoring to be touched by this Hawaiian kupuna, or to just sit, visit with her, and talk stories…
Today and into the future people will know of her for her lomi work and aloha spirit. So as I was saying, I see now, as I look back, something in Angeline that answers my question: how Peewee got this big mana…It was something more than her big heart; its subtle, but worth mentioning and you all may have noticed it right away.
But it may well have gone unnoticed by me if upon reflection I didn’t really look. She wasn’t perfect or always serene, she was human.
I often wished she had all the wisdom of some kupuna who could scold, and put you on track; but she never did have all the answers… But that’s it!
Not only did Angeline operate from her heart, but I realize now, that she lived in the Present Moment.
– Life is a challenge for everyone; it’s just the truth; rich or poor, different stages in life… we’re born into a mystery, a duality of good and bad, pleasure and pain, birth and death. Thinking about her, and having raised children myself…at the time she was divorced, with little money or job training to speak of, no career, and 4 children to support… Who among us wouldn’t just freak out?
But Angeline didn’t miss a beat.
When you live in the moment, the way she did, you don’t have answers, because you wouldn’t really be in the moment, which we know means a clear mind; unburdened by the past, or worry of an unknown future… and just being present to what is… She was in her body, leading from her heart; with willingness, and trust, that this body, however young or old, and this creation, this paradise, and this energy, is all ours for the taking.
That’s what she did…And that’s what she taught, now that I think of it… but not with lecturing, not with words…It’s a subtle thing, living in the moment. Those of us nearest to her, her family, I believe, didn’t notice it. I don’t think she even realized it… actually that’s how I know it is true, because words are well, just words, thoughts just thoughts; action speaks.
If we think about it, her words were for the most part nothing less than expressions of pure love; and encouragement. She would actually be in awe of everyone else.
She saw beauty in the oldest, wrinkled, of bodies. When she was being mother, or working as a receptionist, and when she did lomilomi… She saw the best in everyone, even perfection in everyone.
I.E. She never considered herself a teacher. She was asked countless times to teach; and she would point to others and say, “You can be a great teacher ” …
9 times out of 10 she would look to you for the answers because she saw you as special. She always praised the other. Never herself. Was she a saint? I don’t know; she was a glutton for pampering; she’d take all the pampering and spoiling you could give! And thank goodness we were here to give it. And if she could she pampered you, she gave everything. She loved pampering kupuna most of all.
For me, for my family, for you all, if I could give you a suggestion, a reminder for those who know, or a gift to take away as we say a hui hou, a gift from Angeline… Remember her as that smiling, beaming presence, full of unconditional love. Clear your minds of thoughts of the past, of the future, clear of all thought however worrisome, or benign.
See, and accept fully what is; after all it must be God’s will no? See where life beckons you, and follow your heart, your dream. Make it up as you go. For this is what she did.
That’s how I try to live my life today.
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