What Makes a Youth ” at-risk ” ? ( continued from post ” This Body Is a Victory “)

yemayarenuka | Creating Community, Spirituality & Transformation | October 14, 2011

- What makes a Youth ” at-risk ” ? ( continued from post ” This Body Is a Victory “)

Part 1-

When one can name oneself a survivor, it takes the ups and downs of a windy path and a few attitude adjustments, from sometimes having found oneself on top of the hill, then back down in the deep valleys of a life lived dangerously, with passion and fierce compassion, and a sensitive heart wore on one’s sleeve to finally:

See the cup half full instead of the cup half empty, ready soon to overflow…

I started to focus on my victories instead of my failures.

Instead of seeing my challenges as hindrances and excuses, I finally took full responsibility for my successes!

So I started naming them, with no shame for my journey, and a true love for the trail I walked as a survivor. It might defy the picture of the pretty french girl with a strong will many had of me. My wish is to inspire those who struggle with their past’s burden.

Victorious

I victoriously survived being separated from my mother at age 5.

I victoriously healed the pain of witnessing sheer acts of violence against my mother, as a young child and of being the victim of physical and emotional violence myself as a teenager.

I victoriously left home at age 16, after being raised by a deeply wounded single dad, managed to finish school and to inspire my heroine addicted boyfriend to turn into a clean sweet loving partner while I completed college!

I victoriously recovered from date rape at 20, and victoriously found my way to be “reborn” in the United Statesafter landing in California with $300 in my pocket and 10 words of English in my vocabulary in 1986.

I complained – to myself- in the past that not only I had to learn from scratch to function within a society fundamentally different from the one I came from, but that I had to spend 20 years of my life healing from the severe dysfunctions of my upbringing, which I saw as a heavy weight in my striving for success.

But meantime, I successfully became a Somatic Therapist, and opened my first Healing Center in Marin County, California when I was 28, and was called an inspiration by my community and students numerous times after organizing multiple workshops and large- scale inspiring multi -media performances!

Back on Kauai

Jumping over a few years, I miraculously found my way back to Kauai in 2010 ( where I had lived before since 2001 ), after a year recovery from a broken pelvis ( I happen to be a passionate acrobatic Dancer and Yoga teacher as well as a Massage and Somatic Therapist ).

Still healing I happened to victoriously find a little place to start again, last year, and open a sweet little healing arts clinic, that I envisioned to be the root of a much larger plan, contributing to the Inter-Generational Sustainability of the island of Kauai…successfully…!

That very vision of Inter-Generational Sustainability, from the keikis to the kupunas in storing a system of support that is fun and empowering to all generations, is what guided me back to Kauai.

I started last year with the creation of a low-cost kupunas clinic for the elders offering healing touch and physical and emotional therapy.

My next target was the teens…

I discovered the Empowered Youth Initiative program offered by Off The Mat into the World in March of this year…

I had trained with OTM as a teacher of the Yoga in Action Program a couple years before – coaching Yoga teachers to become sustainable spiritual activists. Familiar with their curriculum due to a twenty year friendship and many collaborations with Suzanne Sterling, co-founder of OTM, priestess and performer, I had been waiting for their hands-on training with Youth at Risk to be presented on the West Coast…

“Yemaya’s on Fire”

“Yemaya’s on Fire” was my nickname after our first circle, in Santa Monica, with Sean Corn, Hala Khouri and Suzanne Sterling, the brilliant team of Off The Mat into the World.

Those 10 days were so deeply touching as we moved from Juvenile Halls to Jails, visiting Los Angeles-based organizations that are creating change and giving disadvantaged kids a chance to have a life worth living.

I came home to Kauai with a much clearer understanding of the situation and started designing a plan that would address the issues specific to our islands:

- Early teen pregnancy.
- Drug use.
- Suicide.
- Gang formation.
- Crime.
- Overall lack of health and motivation.
- Hopelessness.

Part 2:

So, what “makes “ a youth “ at -risk” ?

The main identified “at risk” conditions and circumstances leading to self-abusive behaviors, to violent and drug related choices, to gang forming and joining and turning away from any chances to participate in education and societal expectations are:

Poverty, substance abuse or violence in the family, single parent family unit, cultural disconnection from the culture’s roots and cultural minority issues.

In the case of our beautiful island as with the native american, black american, and latino communities on the mainland, we can see how the cultural disconnection from the culture’s roots can lead to a lack of clear self-identity in the new generation.

cyclic cocktail of circumstances

Similarly, a single parent family might lead to an imbalanced identity if the child is mostly exposed to only one gender role model. Add to this a lack of maturity in the single parent – as we see more and more children raising children – and the over stressing factor of poverty and lack of support. This creates a overwhelming cyclic cocktail of circumstances truly challenging to overcome.

An awareness of the basic need to “belong” inherent to all humans and overly sensitive in a growing teen, will help understand the grouping into Gangs, extreme tattooing and piercing and the creation of new rites of passages (such as committing a crime or journeying into narcotics land) to replace the missing pieces of a society replacing roots with technology.

What we see here on Kauai is a sad lack of outlet for creative expression, which contribute to the constant growing number of increasingly young drug users.

Most of us can relate to the adolescent desire to change the world, to create a reality which match the passion of a young heart for justice, beauty, oneness. If it was inherently challenging a few decades ago, it is easy to understand some of the powerlessness experienced by some of our youth in the climate of today’s society and Earth’s changes.

Healthy foundation for the future

Can this be remedied…? Can that spark of innocent fiery power be nurtured into a healthy pro-active foundation in those who embody the future?

Can a group of dedicated and inspired youth advocates, visionaries, teachers, counselors, sustainability mentors and holistic entrepreneurs make a real change at this time?

Can we offer an integral, sound and coherent network of holistic programs and mentorships sufficiently funded to create long lasting change to the issue at hand?

I strongly believe so…

I believe that our kids can overcome the challenges of today, and see their cups more than half full.

I believe that with our awakened minds and collaborating hearts we not only can, but must put our time and visions to work toward the manifestation grounds of Kauai’s Empowered Youth.

I shared a bit of my story and made myself transparent with you earlier, as I have experienced the depth and power that comes from witnessing each others vulnerabilities turned into strengths.

Part 3:

I will now share what K.E.Y is about.

Our Missionis to Inspire and Mentor Kauai’s Youth by creating a Holistic Youth Centerand satellite programs.

Our Vision is to give Kauai’s Youth the tools to become the evolved leaders of tomorrow, to practice deep ecology and sustainability in all relationships – with self, others, and the world.

Three Categories:

Our programs can be divided in three categories:

Sustainability in Community, Holistic Health Practices and Spiritual disciplines, and Creative Expression.

In a few words Kauai Empowered Youth aims to provide teens with:

-Exposure to sustainability in collaboration with Kauai’s green businesses connecting the Youth with the cycles of Life (organic farming and gardening, seed to table programs, appropriate technology ) and inspiring career options.
-Promote the importance of proper nutrition, self-discipline, and physical health.
-Re-instore healthy rites of passage and develop interest in the Sacred.
-Model respect and self-respect.
-Re-instore trust through reliable long term mentorship.
-Create regular outlets for creative expression promoting emotional literacy and self-empowerment.

Exciting? …and that’s a quick overview…!

Participation

If you feel called to participate in some ways here are our immediate need:

Kickstart fundings: in order to be ready to access large grants and donations from foundations and philanthropist, KEY is looking for its kickstart fundings to create our website and promotional material.

Donations over $300 will receive receipts from our Kauai-based Non-Profit supporting organization INCF ( www.incfworld.org ).

Connections, pointers, time donations are also welcomed.

Once our internet and promotional presence is completed the annual budget fundraising process can really start.

We are aiming at presenting our first week long program during Spring break 2012.

I personally welcome support with the fundraising and grant-writing process, in addition to the resources that I have researched and connected with.

Our team of teachers and youth advocates has still room to grow. We welcome your interest.

In peace, integration and constant evolution,

Namaste,

Yemaya ~

Yemaya Renuka Duby is an experienced Rosen Method Practitioner, Licensed Massage Therapist, Yoga teacher in the lineage of Baba Hari Dass, Yoga in Action trainer ( OTM trained ), a Sacred Dancer, Storyteller and Performance Arts Director.

Since returning to Kauai, Yemaya has healed herself from a broken sacrum injury, opened SACRED WATERS HEALING ARTS,“ the tiniest healing center in the whole wide world with the biggest visions “ promoting the Healing Arts and the Inter-Generational Sustainability Movement, and launched K.E.Y., KAUAI EMPOWERED YOUTH, an organisation offering holistic trainings to the teen population, and at-risk youth on Kauai.

www.sacredwaterskauai.com
www.freedomdances.com
www.offthematintotheworld.org

oceanmalove@yahoo.com

808.651.0558

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Playing with Pandas in China by Gabriela Taylor

keapana | Creating Community | October 9, 2011

Kauaians Playing with Pandas in China

Aloha from Chengdu at the Giant Panda Research and Breeding Center. We began our Chinese Traditional Healing Arts and Qi Gong journey, led by Daisy Lee & Francesco Garripoli <francesco.garripoli@gmail.com), at the Beijing Red Cross Institute of Master Wan who has been Francesco’s teacher for 15 years. Now we’re traveling around with our group receiving massage & energy treatments every day as well as practicing Qi Gong.

Do you know that one translation of panda to English is “bear cat”? Black & White or Black & Red—all adorable!

See my China stories in the Sunday “Garden island Newspaper” in a series called: “China: Where Worlds Intersect”.

From:

Gabriela Taylor

Kauaians: Gabriela, Master Wan, Mary, Daisy, Francesco

Panda stripping and eating bamboo

Snoozing in tree

Red Panda

Red Panda licking her chops

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Finding Your Tribe by Amy C Christensen

admin | Creating Community | April 16, 2011

Your tribe. These are the people who encourage you, support you and believe in you. It can include your family, current set of friends, new friends, friends of friends, acquaintances and colleagues. And maybe complete strangers (who sometimes seem to understand us more than those who’ve known us all our lives).

As you set out on a new adventure or life goal, look around you and assess what—and who—will be most supportive, and spend your time and energy cultivating that network.

It’s our job to be aware of who’s in our tribe—who’s helping, who’s hurting, and who’s missing. If you’re looking to make a major life change (lose a lot of weight, get out of debt, run a marathon when you’ve never run a mile, start a business), it’s imperative that you have solid support. And that support needs to excite you and remind you it’s possible.

Making big life changes is tough. It’s scary and fraught with challenge. And it’s exhilarating, energizing and filled with really big events to celebrate (and the frequent, probably-even-more-important, really small steps that add up to those big milestones). We all deserve to feel worthy and able to create our dreams. To step out into a bigger life than we’ve previously dreamed possible. Who do you want with you?

Right. I thought so. A tribe that has your back.

I’ve broken out this post into four main aspects of tribe-building:

Why is creating a strong tribe essential?
How do you recognize your tribe (and identify those who don’t belong)?
What’s important to remember when building your tribe?
And finally, a reminder that your role and responsibility toward your tribe is as important as who’s there.

The Strength of a Tribe

When we set about to make big changes in our lives, we need to surround ourselves with a tribe of people who believe in us. Who are excited to see us grow and evolve. Who encourage us to follow our dreams—no matter how weird or hard it might seem to them. They’re the ones that ask us <em>how</em> we’re going to make a change instead of saying, “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

Our tribe will assume we can do it—even if we’re not there yet. The non-believers question us and tell us stories about how others failed, or why we won’t make it. Maybe it’s a story about why *they* failed. Our tribe cheers us on and celebrates our milestones. They’re genuinely curious about our journey and lend an ear (or shoulder) when we need it. So… who’s in your tribe?

Recognizing Your Tribe

I remember the first time I signed up for the Pike’s Peak marathon. It was a huge goal for me. I’d only just started running a few years before and had only one other marathon under my belt. I had a friend at the time who, when I mentioned I’d signed up, simply said, “wow, that’s a big goal. Do you think you’re up for it?”

As the race day neared, I mentioned it again and received the disbelieving comment, “wow, you might actually do it.” (As if up until then, that eventuality hadn’t occurred to her.) I felt as though—after over six months of training—my friend still didn’t truly believe I could do it. I was crushed. It became clear to me that I didn’t have her full support when I needed it.

I was changing and she wasn’t there. And unfortunately, our friendship began to suffer. We slowly grew apart and I finally came to the realization that I didn’t want her in my tribe.

It was one of the most difficult decisions I’ve had to make. But one of the most important. And it was the beginning of yet another change for me: I started to build a new tribe.

The friends I’d made while training are the ones that asked about how I was going about training and what my goal time was. They were the ones that asked me how I was going to celebrate “when I finished.” These were the people I wanted in my tribe.

They never doubted for a minute that I could do it. I realized this was incredibly important and began to focus my energy on cultivating these relationships.

Knowing Who Doesn’t Belong

One of my current clients is training for her fourth marathon, yet is finding it hard in a new town. We talked a little about the differences, and it came up that one reason is she doesn’t feel comfortable talking about her training with new friends. She described an encounter while discussing a 5K she’d run earlier in the year. Her co-worker asked her what her time was. Upon hearing it, the response was, “why so slow?”

Really!!!?! Seriously? I was rendered speechless (and found myself pretty angry) at the comment.

Signs that someone will be detrimental to your goal and should NOT become a member of your tribe:

They belittle your accomplishments (“Why so slow?”)
They are surprised when you’re about to succeed (“Wow, you might actually do it.”)
They guilt you into keeping the status quo (“Oh, come on. you know you won’t stick to your training schedule. Just come out with us.”)
They who negate your efforts (“If you can’t run a marathon without walking, it doesn’t count.”)
You start to feel like everyone around you is right, you really don’t have what it takes to succeed.
You start to feel guilty for losing weight or being debt-free.
You give up because you believe everyone else is right and your idea is stupid. Or too hard. Or too big.
You stop believing in yourself and start listening to others.

We—as the people who want to make a change, who want to grow and evolve and do big things—have to be vigilant and aware of the tribe we create for ourselves. It takes great strength and discipline to surround ourselves with healthy and supportive tribemates.

Building Your Tribe

So you need a new tribe, or maybe just an expansion of the one you have. How does one go about building a tribe?

First, look inward. Be clear about your own vision for the change you’re making. Begin to cultivate an awareness of what makes you feel buoyed and excited. Then look outside at who’s there with you.

Characteristics of a solid tribe:

Enthusiasm for your goal. Even if they’re not runners themselves, they’re excited that you’re running.
Support for your goal. They don’t suggest going dutch at a 5-star restaurant when they know you’re on a strict plan to get out of debt. (Or, God forbid, make fun of you for not buying that new, cute-with-a-$200-price-tag handbag, or the latest iProduct.
Unwavering belief that you can do it. There’s just no question in their mind that your goal is awesome, and you’re going to rock it.
Experience in making changes. They’ve been through change. They know what the journey is like and how hard it can be. They cheer you on through the rough spots.

You want to surround yourself with a tribe of possibility—those people and experiences that believe in you and build up your successes. It helps to have people in your tribe who’ve done what you’re setting out to do. People who understand what it takes; who have experienced the challenges and have come through—that believe in you when you’re not sure yourself.

Your tribesfolk will teach you, encourage you and cheer you on simply because they want to see you succeed. They don’t have an agenda for your success. They want you to succeed for your own sake. These people know—on a deep level—that your success means a greater success for everyone.

Your tribe should also include those that have experience with making a big change. Seeing the possibility of success and knowing it can be done can help pull you through those moments of self doubt and fear.

I have found that when I state a goal, the universe opens up and opportunities abound. Tribes appear in the most random and unexpected places. Twitter. A blog comment. A stranger cheering you on across the finish line. An Internet forum or a story in the newspaper about someone else accepting a similar challenge. A tribe can include the environment around you. It doesn’t have to be people you see everyday.

When I quit my job and decided to start my own life coaching practice, I started reading blogs and posts dedicated to small businesses and living an unconventional life. I hung out in coffee shops and spent time with people that did that every day. These tribes taught (and still teach) me that even though I’d never run further than 26.2 miles, and I’d never owned my own business, that it’s possible. They don’t think I’m crazy. I’m not alone.

Having a Tribe Means Being in One

Laird Hamilton has the right attitude. I watched a video interview recently where he says (quite matter-of-factly):

“It’s amazing how, if you encourage somebody, how much strength you give them. [...] It just brings up your energy and you can kind of, at times, do things that are superhuman.”

To encourage someone is to give them strength. We must act within our tribe, as we want our tribe to act towards us. We must be our own cheerleader and we must cheer others on. When a member of our tribe seeks support, we support them without an agenda. We must genuinely and sincerely wish success for them—even when we haven’t yet achieved our own.

And remember that you are in the driver’s seat heading toward your goal. Your tribe is there to support, encourage and help when you need it. But they don’t call the shots on your dream. You do. And the cool thing about having such a stellar tribe is that they know this, and they honor it.

So look around. Find your tribe. Support and be supportive. Encourage and be encouraged. Believe in yourself and the changes you are making. Trust that change is possible. Build your tribe and as Gandhi says, “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

Amy Christensen is a certified life coach at Expand Outdoors

(http://www.expandoutdoors.com/), where she helps others create fun, healthy and sustainable lifestyle changes through the outdoors. She recently moved back to the mainland and can be found traveling around the country with her husband working, climbing, trail running and mountain biking (and very much missing the salt water!).

You can find Amy on twitter (http://www.twitter.com/expandoutdoors), facebook (http://www.facebook.com/expandoutdoors), and via her blog (http://www.expandoutdoors.com/blog).

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